Breathe life into a stone

• Shakespeare's All's well that ends well

I have seen a medicine
That's able to breathe life into a stone,
Quicken a rock, and make you dance canary
With spritely fire and motion, whose simple touch
Is powerful to araise King Pippen, nay,
To give great Charlemain a pen in 's hand
And write to her a love-line.

Woof woof, Ted says one is as likely to do some of the Evil Empires bidding as Helena is likely to succeed in raising King Pippen or Charlemain from the dead.

Tonight, for instance, Ted is expected to attend some meeting thing after office hours. He is expected to cheerfully give of his personal time to "network" in the community.
Small spherical objects is what I say to that; for one thing The Evil Empire does not pay salary, it pays wages and clocks its' employees by the minute. Why then would any sane employee willingly take away from his precious family time after office hours without receiving adequate financial recompense. Truthfully Ted believes that such time should be paid at overtime rates rather than donated free of charge in the pursuit of corporate profits.

This is precious dog walking time Ted is expected to eat into here! It is just not woofing well acceptable and these sad people need to get a grip and stop coming up with increasingly ludicrous activities to fill their employees time 24 hours a day.

Ted actually ended up enjoying himself, hence All's well that ends well. Networking can be fun but he still thinks it should come at time and a half!