If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

• Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

Now here's a thing no-one suspected about me. Down at the pet relocation center they told me not to tell anyone about my past but I just can't suppress my basic instincts and this afternoon - it just happened.
You see, this duck - well, it flew past my nose and I without thinking I just jumped into the water and started to paddle after it. Of course it got away - no doubt because it can swim AND fly! I, on the other hand, can only do one of those things effectively and so the duck won.
Nevertheless I had a great time and Ted and Little Ted were greatly impressed with my ability to jump from dock to boat, swim above and below water, and finally - my piece de resistance, I can climb ladders to get out of the water - pretty nifty huh?
I needed a bath anyway 'cos this morning, as well as playing with Bella who soaks my ears with her drool, I also visited with Rocky the yellow Labrador and boy, can labradors produce saliva! I was soaking wet with drool after just a few minutes AND he kept stealing my tennis ball - what a nerve. Good fun tho'.